When I Went to a Poetry Reading Event, Prepared a Poem, and Was Too Gutless to Read in Front of an Audience

What the fuck is new, right?
This is the same, old bullshit about paranoia and anxiety attacks.
I bet anyone will be tired of reading about them.
Hell, I'm tired of writing about them.
But they hold me in a tight grip, and I'm too tired to fight them off.

So instead of taking advantage of the open mic and reading my poem, I recorded it in a video, hours after the event, in the safety of my room---where my friends, panic and doubt, are kept at bay.

I should have read my poem on that stage.
I should have. :/
Sigh.