Holiday Tears

I wrote this on December last year.

Since I won’t be home for the Holidays (*sob* *sob*), I will make a list of what I miss from my beloved Bacolod. And since we’re in the subject of longing I’ll also include Iloilo City - since I pretty much lived there in the past 4 years.

-I hate my pathetic life- :’c

BACOLOD CITY: The City of Smiles

- Mama’s linaga (the linaga from my favorite carindiria will also do) 

Linaga or beef stew is my favorite viand of all time! My mouth waters every time I think of its delicious aroma. I especially love its broth. Pair it with hot rice and your hunger’s solved. ;) Trust me. I know.

- Calea cakes!

Those cakes are heavenly. And I’m serious. Hahaha. If by any chance you guys can visit Bacolod, go directly to Calea. Bob’s has good baked products too but it can’t beat Calea’s cakes. *Biased* :3

- The legendary Bacolod Chicken Inasal

If you haven’t heard of Bacolod’s chicken inasal then you’re missing out on one of life’s greatest gifts to the human stomach. It’s the last nice meal I had with my family before returning to Cebu last week. :’c

- My awesome family

My father’s dead so I only have Mama, my kuya Jepoy and my ate Jen Jen. I’m basically writing this entry because I can’t go home to them this Christmas and New Year. This freakin’ sucks.

- My crush who works in a frame shop :3 

As I said in one of my previous entries, I practically grew up in downtown Bacolod. Anyway, I have this little crush that’s been going on for like 3 years now. He’s my typical type - lago (someone who looks like he hasn’t taken a bath / just got up from bed), lean, etc. He’s tall though. I don’t really like tall guys because I’m short.“If ever” we will be together, I will be like, his walking stick! Gawd, no —- I don’t want that to happen. He also has dreadlocks - which I (also) don’t really like. :/ I actually don’t know why I like him —- maybe because he’s mostly “lago”. I’m attracted to “lago” more than any other traits. Hahaha. *gaga* :3

ILOILO CITY: The City of Love

I don’t really understand why they call it City of Love~ Maybe just for the heck of it. Oh well, I practically lived there for four years. I haven’t returned since I graduated —- and I really really miss my university! T.T

- Long Lazy Afternoon Walks

I love long walks on lazy afternoons - especially with my friends. :) 

- Fishball, Tempura, Pancake, Cotton Candy (and many other street food pleasures)

Miagao Plaza - this was where we usually end up after our long lazy afternoon walks. :D We would devour all kinds of street food! My favorites were tempura and cotton candy. I could only eat cotton candy during fiestas though. :(

- Roberto’s Siopao

My friend, Meggy, once said that you’ve never been to Iloilo if you haven’t eaten Roberto’s siopao — and she was right! The place is just small—because they’re Chinese and they believe that businesses should stay in one place in order to be prosperous. Someone else told me that, I forgot who. Anyway, the place may be small but their siopao surely is the best. ;)

- My “Lago” Crushes at the University 

They were my daily dose of vitamins. Hehehe. :3

- My University

It’s simply the best. I got a 4.0 (failure) and a lot of 3.0s (passing). More than one teachers terrorized/traumatized me. It didn’t make me cum laude. But it molded me to be strong, principled, and critical-minded. It fueled the fire of nationalism inside me. It helped me become mature, rational, and unbiased. It made me a better person. :)  

Okay. Since I’m already writing a list, why not include Cebu, right?

Things that I will miss if ever I leave Cebu City:

- Sanciangco St.

This place adopted me when I was still a wide-eyed immigrant from Bacolod. Hahaha! It didn’t bother me one bit that it is one of the red districts in Cebu—in fact, I think it’s an adventure. ;) Anyway, our place is safe since it’s a compound and there’s the ever dependable Manong Guard. Hehehe. :3

- Milkshake Factory

The only branch that I know is the one in SM. I looove their chocolate milkshake! I don’t know if there’s a Milkshake Factory outside Cebu so~

- PR Works Staff

They are the first family I have here in Cebu. And we jive well together. I actually miss them now. We barely see each other because of conflicting schedules. :’c

- Manang’s Kwek Kwek

I used to eat Kwek Kwek as my afternoon snack. :D Back when I was in PR Works, that is. :’c I’m always hungry nowadays. :c There’s nothing cheap (but satisfying) to eat in my new workplace. *I think I’m gonna cry*

That’s all I can think of for now. I’m very frustrated because I can’t go home for Christmas—and as it turned out, even my landlady won’t be in our boarding house for the Holidays. So I’m completely alone. :’c

Actually it’s fine. It’s all good. I’m comfortable being alone~

But it’s just so sad. I don’t want the silence to eat my sanity away.

Reminiscing Happiness

When I was a kid, the downtown area of Bacolod City is my personal playground. I memorized every corner, every shortcut — just not the street names, I’m poor at that. :/

Anyway, I would cross the streets braving the danger of rushing vehicles. I was never afraid of crossing the street. Maybe because of that incident from when I was younger — but that’s a story for another time. :) I always feel a great adrenalin rush whenever I’m racing for my life. And in those moments when I’m only split seconds away from getting hit by a vehicle, and I survived, I would mentally laugh at the drivers thinking, “I win, losers!” I would savor every small victory and continue half trotting, half jumping to another building in the area.

I and my sister played house in the malls (Gaisano, Lopue’s Araneta, Lopue’s San Sebastian). We even befriended some of the salesladies! Maybe they thought we were cute. hehe. We would go from one mirror to the next, making all kinds of faces. We’d sit on crystal stalls and talk in whispers. One time, one of the stalls actually cracked because my sister was quite fat at that time, and the security guards had to fetch our mother from our fruit stand (just outside of Gaisano). She had to pay for that cracked glass too. :/ It took years before I managed to come near that crystal stall in the school supplies department again.

But there are fun times too! We would go to the groceries section and head to the large freezers where they put ice creams and other frozen products. We would scrape the ice that gathered at the sides of the freezers and we would throw it in the air — daydreaming of snow. Or we would go to the appliances section and watch whatever free show we can get from the large TVs. 

As I said earlier, my mother is a fruit vendor. We have a fruit stand in the sidewalks of Gatuslao St. in downtown Bacolod. That’s why I’m such an expert in the whereabouts of the area. I pretty much grew up there. And FYI, most of my relatives from my mother’s side are fruit vendors too (and damn good ones). That’s why the name EXALTADO is very popular in the central market and downtown area. You insult one, you insult the whole clan — that’s how tight our extended family is.

Anyway, because we couldn’t afford a yaya and Mama couldn’t leave me on my own, she brought me with her to the downtown every day. She would make a makeshift bed for me, made from two empty cartons of apples placed side by side. When I get bored in my mother’s fruit stand I would run across two streets and drink Milo in our clan’s Kapihan (small cafe) inside Central Market. It is named Cafe Exellente. Man, the coffee sure is excellent. It’s from pure Batangas coffee beans — always freshly ground and brewed. But I was still a kid back then so I would just stick to Milo. :)

I miss my playground now that I’m all old and bored and struggling in Cebu City. But most of all, I miss those moments when my biggest worry was how to avoid a rushing jeepney. I miss running around not caring about everyone else. I miss the feeling of childish delight when I eat a two peso ice scramble topped with condensed milk and chocolate syrup. I miss the daydreams and happiness that you can only feel if you were a kid.