World Poetry Day 2018

I only have this for World Poetry Day this year. :(

Ever wonder why clouds are a stuff of daydreams?
How a bundled mass of condensed vapor can trigger
Thoughts of floating and flying and escape?
Is that why people like me look out of windows
And stare at the sky?

Endlessly.
Pining for an illusion we can't grasp.

For what are clouds, really?
That they can make us feel free and shackled at the same time?
They're just haze.

Just.

But I still sigh as I look out my window and burn holes at the sky.

Abrasion

Sometimes, an abrasion hurts the most.

That thin film of skin scraped from the flesh. That stinging wound too shallow to trigger blood.

She used to play tag a lot. She was a small and clumsy kid, so she scraped her knees and legs more times than she could count. She would limp home to her mama, and she would get treated and scolded at the same time. It was a painful routine, spattered with tears and blood. She hated abrasions more than anything because they left the skin tender and sensitive, stinging, bleeding only when she forced it to. Her mama always said she needed to let the wound bleed out, so it wouldn’t get infected. She was relieved when she would finally see blood—because then, it would be like her other wounds. But then again, she scraped her knees and elbows too many times she can’t remember when she stopped crying because of them.

It was different when her lip was split open, though. She was six. She had never seen so much blood in her life. It dribbled down to her clothes all the way to her underwear. There are only flashes now, but she remembers tasting the saltiness of tears and blood and the bitterness of crushed malunggay leaves the adults applied as first aid to her burst lip. She went home to her mama, bawling. She only remembers showing her mother her blood-stained underwear. Despite the pain and tears, she couldn’t help but be fascinated by it. The memory ended there. She forgot how that wound healed and became another permanent oddity she has to live with for the rest of her life.

She wears the scars today like badges. She has survived that level. She proudly shows them and tells stories like she has survived a battle. Because that’s what growing up is—a battle against others, against the self. A battle to try to accept you and your beautiful imperfections enough for society to leave you a space in the world. But who would have thought that the next level would be dull and exhausting? That the wounds she would get as she grew older would be invisible—no cut, no blood, no visible infected area to apply malunggay leaves and ointment to? No one prepared her for this. No one told her that the battle she has to wage now is against the gnawing in her gut, the clawing in her throat, the palpitations that grip her core too often she can’t distinguish them from the rhythm of her own heart.

Sometimes, little things hurt the most.

The quiet desperation.

The perennial confusion.

The silent pleas for oblivion.

She hated abrasions the most. But now, she finds herself wishing—more often than she dares to admit—for any kind of cut on her tired body. For droplets of red to slowly trickle down her skin. For any sign that she still exists. And then she weeps. Because if she is existing for nothing, why can’t the void consume her and just give her the hushed darkness her exhausted soul desperately cries for?

Mitolohiya: a Book in Progress

Uhm, this post is waaaay overdue. I didn't realize it's been rotting in my drafts for years. Lol.

So as I hinted before, here's the digital version of the project I and Jissa Totesora did together for her Dream Project, any artform---illustration, photography, animation, film---that the student is passionate about. Since I share this passion with Jissa, I decided to help out by writing the content for her illustrations. :)

We hope to turn this into a legit book someday, but for now, this is already kind of an accomplishment. XD

Enjoy! <3

The Dark and Fascinating World of Philippine Mythology

I have always been the person who yearns to escape from this reality. The toil of living in it every day is overwhelming and exhausting. It suffocates me. That is why I seek refuge in other realities---books, movies, and fiction in general. This desire for escape is probably the reason why I’m drawn to Philippine myths and legends. Most Filipinos are crazy over  mythos from other countries that they disregard the beauty and magic of their own mythology.

Philippine mythology is more than the aswang that hunt for intestines and unborn babies. It is much more than the clichés movies and television feed to the masses. There is a rich culture behind the tales and legends whispered to us when we were kids. Yes, our parents might have used them to keep us from staying out late. (I read this study that Filipinos use fear as a form of discipline. And hell, it’s effective!) But once I’ve resigned myself to the realization that there's nothing I can do about the dark and the creatures that lurk in it, these stories about engkanto and other lower mythos have become my salvation from the endless torture of the mundane. 


Call me crazy, but I choose to believe they exist. This magical reality---which consists of dark, beautiful creatures hidden from our consciousness---is far more exciting than taxes and 9-5 work schedules. So, why can’t I succumb to its seductive charm?

New Literary Acquisitions + Cebu Zine Fest 2017 Haul

All right. Here's my not-so-regular update on my new books and graphic novels. Haliya Publishing recently launched Kabuwanan, an anthology of seven comics---all illustrated by komikeras. I pre-ordered online and saw that The Friend Zone is also available. I have extra money, so naturally I ordered that one too. Hahahahaha. God, I'm gonna die and rot in a pauper's grave.

 Anyway, read along now.

The Friend Zone by Noel Pascual and Mervin Malonzo is fucked up. That's all I'm going to say as I stare into space and contemplate on the extent of human desperation. 

Another signed copy from Mervin Malonzo! Yaay! :p

Now this, Kabuwanan, is awesome sauce! (expression taken from Andy in Parks and Recreation. lol.) A comics anthology all written and illustrated by women? Hell yea!

I love every story, but my favorites are "haiszXt" by Hulyen, "Majica Baja" by Laraine Gazmen and Hannah Puyat, and "Sutlang-Dila" by Emiliana Kampilan. <3 

 "Sutlang-Dila" made me tear up. Seriously. If "haiszXt" is everything that I am, "Sutlang-Dila" is everything I want to be. TT I've always fantasized that I was a babaylan in one of my previous lives. Sigh. How do I begin to explain "Sutlang-Dila"? It's . . . It's . . . galvanizing! Its combination of the country's history and mythology is exquisite. Ms. Emiliana can go on and write a whole series about Sutlang-Dila, and I swear I'll buy every fucking issue.

Come on, look at how badass she is! I love her almost as much as I love Alexandra Trese. <333

You can order Kabuwanan, The Friend Zone, and other Haliya Publishing/Mervin Malonzo titles at mervstore.com. 


Okay. Wooh. Moving on, I stopped by Zine Fest this evening, and I was glad I only brought a couple of hundreds because if I brought more, I would've spent every fucking peso on zines and artworks again. Hahahahaha.

PS: I got this anthology a few weeks ago, and there's only one story left before I'm done reading. Look it up in your local bookstores---that is, if you like having dark smoke hovering on your head before you sleep. :3

That's all for now. 
Later. Annyeong. Jaane. Hanggang sa susunod na kabanata. x

Of Desires and Secret Messages

I stare into space once again,

A habit I cannot let go.
My mind is foggy and my breathing shallow.

Suspended in time---I float and wallow.
Open secret dimensions, I beg of you.

Bring me to eternal sunsets, and let me dance in fairy lights.
Only then will I be able to---might be able to---breathe freely.
Rain is in forecast, is it not?
Escape---since we cannot disappear into an another here, will you do it then?
Dance in the rain with me?

After Lambana (Book Review)

In diwata high! 

I feel like I am still in between the real and the magical and haven't quite emerged from it just yet. 

You see, after seeing Eliza Victoria's early promotions for After Lambana a few years ago, I patiently waited for its release---especially since I read her Fairy Tales around that same time. It is a short story that Ms. Eliza contributed to Daily Science Fiction, an online magazine. You can read the short by opening this link.

Going back, I won't spill any spoiler and will just exclaim that it's worth the wait! Ugh. Okay, fine, I'll provide a summary to give you an idea. After Lambana is a speculative fiction about a Philippine society where magical and nonmagical beings coexist---the former being discriminated against by anti-magic laws imposed by humans.

Featuring: Diwata, sirena, magical spontaneous diseases, and all-around badassery!

I was stoked when I first thought After Lambana was going to be a novel and was ecstatic when I found out that Ms. Eliza collaborated with Mervin Malonzo, the creator of the comic book series Tabi Po and one of my favorites in the Philippine komiks scene. It was such an amazing team up that I couldn't help but squeal in excitement every time they posted an update.

They launched the graphic novel in this year's Komikon, and pauper me wasn't able to go again. So instead, I ordered online via Visprint and resigned myself with an unsigned copy. *Sob

As always, Ms. Eliza's story line is brilliantly told. I am once again transported to this world she created and am left floating even after flipping the last page. Wooh. I also love Mr. Mervin's vibrant colors for this project. It is different from Tabi Po's dreamlike, almost nostalgic vibe but still emanates the lines and style that are uniquely Mervin Malonzo.

As you well know, I seldom write book reviews, so I don't really know how to end this. Heh. All right, I'll just paste the online order info and preview link that Ms. Eliza provided in her Facebook page:

E-mail bookorders@visprint.net.FREE DELIVERY NATIONWIDE (Philippines only) until December 15.
AFTER LAMBANA
Graphic Novel
Published by Visprint, November 2016
Story & Words by Eliza Victoria
Art & Book Design by Mervin Malonzo
PhP 500
Read the first 50 pages: http://salimbalcomics.com/chapter/after-lambana-preview
Visprint, our publisher, will handle book orders and delivery, so best to direct all questions and concerns to their Facebook page or their e-mail.

Post script:

This contains a little spoiler, so forgive me. Heh. Rose, the spontaneous disease in After Lambana, is strangely reminiscent of Terrorium's flora invasion. XD

Note:

Terrorium is one of the stories found in Beyond, a creative collaboration featuring Manix Abrera, Mervin Malonzo x Adam David, and Harvey Tolibao.