Mama

I made this for Mother’s Day. I wanted to send this through snail mail (because she’s in Bacolod and I’m in Cebu), but I’m out of cash now. And this wouldn’t reach her in time anyway. :c This one’s for her and for every mother everywhere who deserves more than our love. :)

—-

I’ll write a poem for Mama

One that’s the best in the world

You can compare it to nothing

Oh, but only to her

—-

I’ll write a song for Mama

I’ll sing of her unquestioning love

No notes are needed, really

Because she knows my every melody

—-

Alas! But the words are trapped in my tongue!

Oh no, what do I do?

How can I write that one poem for mama?

The one that’s best in the world!

—-

I boggle my mind, but no words come out

There’s only the image of her warm smile

My mama’s big, warm smile

That says everything is all right

That says she won’t leave my side

—-

Perhaps that one great poem can wait

Perhaps it needs more time

I know my mama will understand

I hope it’s worth the delay

—-

So what else can I do now?

But sing for my mama

My mama, so gentle

With her childlike happiness

—-

Mama, I give you this one true song

A song I secretly sing in my heart

Please listen intently, it’s only for you

La la la …

Fa la la la la …

April 30, 2012

Bloody First Day

First day in my new job—not bad at all. :3

Except, my period came. Ugh. Annoying. :/

But other than that, it’s all good. My boss is great. My coworkers are cool. And I got a freakin’ job, which I don’t detest. :p

Yes. Today’s not shabby at all. :)

I should go and enjoy a personal celebration, but I only have like, ninety pesos in my purse. Damn. When will I learn to save? I haven’t even watched Avengers. I haven’t even paid my three thousand peso rent. I don’t even have the luxury to buy food for tonight’s dinner. All these predicaments and I’m sulking because I can’t watch Avengers. :’c

My life sucks. But no! I got a job, and I’m alive. Those are blessings from God, worthy of praise. So my life doesn’t suck. I’m a blessed person. And this is rakenrol. ;)

Rant from My Red Book

So here I am. Unemployed. Nothing to do. Well, I can’t really say nothing. I mean, I have more time to do what I want now. But how can I do them without the freakin money? Damn. My current problem is where to get the money to pay for the rent. o.O

Don’t get me wrong—I asked for this. Damn, if I didn’t resign, I don’t know if I can still enjoy my sanity. The people I work with is a great factor why I stay in a place or group. And this particular group of pseudo-humans is up to no good. They are a bunch of arrogant, mental, snooping control freaks. I sure am glad I got out when I did. Another day in that hellhole will make me really kill myself. They don’t have a life. I really think that they had control issues in the past—that’s why they throw all their frustrations and bitterness at us. Assholes. I will NEVER work in that company again. Gawd, I’d rather die. 

Even the job was not successful in making me stay. I mean, a week before my “freedom,” I actually felt nauseated just looking at my manuscript. And I felt claustrophobic every day!

The only thing I’m sad about is because I can’t see my crushes again—and the stable income, of course. Petty, huh?

Oh, well. Story of my life. Two resignations in less than a year. Beat that, punks. HAHAHAHAHA! (I’m up to no good myself.) :’c

Turning and Twirling

Round and round the fan goes

Round and round my head twirls

I can stare at it for hours

No worries, I’m free tonight

—-

I’m free tonight

And tomorrow night

And the night after tomorrow

It’s just me, the fan, and the night

—-

I envy that device

At least it knows it’s purpose

Even though it’s just turning all day

At least it’s doing what it’s made to do

—-

And so it keeps on turning

And I keep on staring—

Tonight and for the nights to come

I stare and wonder if I can ever be of use too

April 7, 2012

As You Were

Remember me as I am—

That is what you said.

But when I think of you,

There is nothing but pure sadness.

—-

What do you want me to remember?

Your laugh? Our late-night conversations

Over bottles of beer?

Your unending passion?

Your dreams that will never be realized?

—-

There are two ways to remember,

So tell me—

Do you want me to remember you

As someone who lived for love?

—-

Or do you want me to see you

As the coward who left without warning?

As the fool who thought

He could solicit affection from despair?

—-

You were abandoned,

So you turned away from them who thrived in your existence.

You walked away,

Leaving everyone to grieve for your selfishness.

—-

Please spare us the burden of remembering you.

It is too heavy, and the pain digs deep.

You went your way; let us continue with ours.

I only hope that you are finally happy.

created: 01/31/2012

Ctrl+Alt+Delete

Minsan naisip ko,

Sana ang buhay ko parang computer—

May options ako kung gusto ko ba’ng

Shut Down, Hibernate, o Sleep muna.

—-

May mapagpipilian akong tools para pakulayin ito

Tulad ba no’ng sa Microsoft Word

O di kaya’y sa Paint—

Highlight word lang o Select Paint Bucket Tool,

Ayos na.

—-

Ayoko ng Ctrl Z, Undo Button, o Delete.

Ha! Wala na kasing thrill

At wala na ring pagmumunimuni

Kung natatama ko lahat ng mali.

—-

Ah basta, ang gusto ko lang talaga ngayon eh

Shut Down—

Manahimik. Pabayaan ang magulong mundo.

Maghintay sa kung sino man

Ang nakatakdang mag Start Up muli sa akin.

created: 01/24/2012

He, Me, and Matching Shirts

He wore black

I wore black

Our eyes locked

But I turned away

—-

I was scared

I wasn’t ready

I wanted to smile

But my mind stopped my lips

—-

Our eyes didn’t meet again

For instead of looking at his face

I looked at his hair

And the tattoo that snaked his left arm

—-

My eyes traced its intricate patterns

I wanted to face him—

Bold and confident

Oh, I pray to have the courage someday

—-

But today…

He wears white

I wear white

Our eyes lock

But I turn away.

created: 01/07/2012